Multicultural Paranormal Romance Author Alexandria Infante


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Unconditional Love???

Author Alexandria Infante.
This is the Teaching between Midnight and Dawn Series

Today’s Blog….
 Shall be a bit windy lol...( British for long lol)
(Para ti hawaiana)


I know I posted yesterday that we would end our months long sojourn on Mr. Kalani T, however, I realized that although most of you have realized by now that the book series is actual true life events; many have forgotten, myself included sometimes; that there was once a love affair there. A love that few find, that was fervent, all consuming, combustible, and mind-blowing even with the age difference.
There were many challenges to the relationship; age, race, and at times ill advisement from so called friends on both sides. 

Nevertheless, the most important thing that has been over shadowed by the books, the so called friends meaning well, unwarranted advice from supposed people who cared about us, the relationship, my image as an older women, his image as a “G,” was the fact that there was the foundation of a remarkable friendship, that blossomed into a strong ardent love.

He was the person you could just about tell anything, who truly listened, cared, and tried his best to help in anyway.
It was one of the things that made me love him so much.
Every time I think about what has transpired, and where we are now as individual people, I can hear the bars of Drake’s and Jhene Akio’s Summer Time, “The Hottest Loves have the Coldest Ends,” because this one was and did.

Yet in all the adversity we encountered, his family, my family, friends, frenemeies, haters and such, we both found a love that seemed to weather the storm for a while, and it is that, I wish people to know as well.
There were many remarkable qualities about this young man, his compassion was abundant, his love all consuming, his touch avid, or I never would have fallen in love with him.

The chocolate brown puppy dog eyes, with the most incredible, longest lashes I had ever seen on a guy alone, were my undoing lol.  The chiseled features of his face, especially when he was sporting a five o clock shadow would make any woman swoon.
His height, standing at 6’4 ½ 250 lbs (not fat as Sarah indicated, but thick lol) was awe inspiring to someone my size lol of barely 5’5, and his Hawaiian heritage was quite evident.

But what I loved most about him, was the soft spoken side, the side he allowed very few people to see. I felt privileged that he chose to allow me a glimpse of who he truly was deep inside, and for this reason, it was so painful for me to know the person he became, how he allowed other to influence him, and lived the “life,” that his crew deemed he should live; then chalked it up to his “age,” accepting a stereotype and image others marked him with.
Yet, even in the negativity, we found something special, which few people do. Unfortunately, we both allowed others to taint it to become something it was not. He did things, I did things; each reactions of love and pain, and neither of us could see that.
People in true life, abroad, websites, this blog, and even he, have ask me time and again why I loved him; and the simple fact is, even when I say I hate him, because that line is very true about there being, “A Thin Line Between Love & Hate,” I loved him too much to truly hate him, deep inside.

What I choose to tell the world, and him is something entirely different than how I truly feel; nonetheless, life in general deems that each of us must move in our journey of existence, for the reason that life has choices we must accept and not dwell on, and this is my choice.

In spite of this, I know the person inside, the one that few see where he is concerned, the one he desperately attempts to hide from others, least they see him as “weak.” The person who at a young age tried to make sense of life’s harsh realities, was struck one too many times with these blows, and decided it was much easier to, “not care,” until he met me, and if I feel truly privileged for nothing else in the relationship, it would be that he believed that to be true. 

Unfortunately, due to this, he became susceptible to what others supposed his life should be. And as I ruminate on the past, I believe that this was our biggest foe.
I loved the person who would place his head on my breast to hear my heartbeat, whisper my name in his sleep as he reached for me unconsciously, look deep in my eyes and whisper I love you so much; that my heart seemed to swell each time he did. I loved the person who made me feel whole, who made me laugh constantly, who was there when I got some of the worse news of my life, yet held me through the night trying to make it better.

The person who was his true self, until we both began to listen to ill advised council about age, station in life, what is normal, societal mores, and how we appeared to others; who taunted, ridiculed, and hated because we had something they did not, in a dismal environment; where image of hardness is all that matters to them, and he subsumed it, believing this is who and what he should be.

My biggest crime, not believing in him when he needed me most. Yet at the same time, believing that he could be something better, stronger, and smarter, attempting to uplift, when it wasn’t something he was willing to accept, believe in or attain for himself, so it in turn twisted adoration to bitterness, esteem to loathing, and love to hate.

A few weeks ago, we spoke at length, he informed me that he was with someone new, and he loved her. I wasn’t sure what to say to that, when he asked me why I just couldn't be happy for him?

I thought on that long and hard....

 In reality, few of us ever are, because the very idea of the person you love with someone new and happy, is such a foreign concept to our love struck minds, that we will not, and cannot accept this as truth, so we balk against it internally, do things that seem to bring us appeasement for a time; but at the end of the day, the true feelings of love return, and we must then decide where the love will end? 

Bitterness, unconditional love, or hate......

I am not proud of some of the things that I did and said in the relationship as well. I am truly sorry, and saddened by them at the same time. Many of them were done as a means of coping to cover what I truly felt at the concept of rejection, the money, the wedding ring, all were true acts; until they were rejected, and the unconscious mind immediately seeks to redeem itself, so we make up lies sometimes to comfort ourselves, because we do not like to state love that is no longer requited; it is easier to be angry.

Albeit, I truly had no answer for him...
Because if I were to answer him truthfully, the truths I had wanted to tell him so many times, but fear and age closed my emotions and thoughts off from him, everything I had ever told myself would have come spilling forth; the fact that I had never loved anyone as I did him, that I wanted to marry him, that I needed him in ways that I had never needed another man, that he was the very breath and life to meI wanna dream what you dream, Go where you're going, I only have one life. I only wanna live it with you, I wanna sleep where you sleep, Connect with your soul. The only thing I want in life, I only wanna live it with you; would have seemed contrite in the face of his happiness of someone new, so I allowed the anger to supersede who I am as a person, and sought new ways of dealing, instead of confronting the truth; it was finally over....

I had stated that I loved him unconditionally, yet I realized that if I truly had, when he asked that specific question, I would have been happy for him, in his quest for a love he felt he could attain, deal with, and did not consume him as our had done.

So, for the last couple of weeks, I have been literally ruminating on the word love, how we as a society use it, and what the word actually means. Most often in life we surmise that love is supposed to not only make us feel grand, but elevate us to the point of being almost intoxicated and unthinking. Countless times we as humans never equate love as being unconditional, because we have no notions of what that truly means. Love to us is very restricted, and time and again narrative to what we will and will not accept from others. We see love as what makes us content, what revolves around us, and for someone else to come in and take that from us, twist it, then leave; leads many to contemplate that love isn’t worth it, is counterfeit, unkind, untrue, and should be about what makes me, the individual satisfied.

  By the same token, copious times people equate love with monetary possessions, “what someone will or will not do for them”; that the out of kilter sense that if you love me you buy me possessions is a testament to “Love” in and of itself, with no intellect of what Love truly is.
Today’s society has conditioned its people to believe that if “you love me, you’ll buy me this, you’ll take me here, “you’ll do this or that,” because that means you truly love me.
This for me as a reasonably sensible, educated intellectual being, is hard to fathom.
It is these individuals that I feel the most compassion and sympathy for, because I believe in life, they have never truly experienced the true magnitude of love, so they substitute that feeling with material possessions, equating it with love. If you only love someone when they buy you things, do for you the individual alone, with no return affections, except to say buy me this, or buy me that, then your concept of love is askew, twisted, and has nothing to do with love itself.
Love is not equated with the material, it is empathy, considerate, and puts others first before their own needs. It is just as well not, just because someone buys you material things whenever you ask, also doesn’t mean they truly love you as well.

The unending love, which says, “No matter what you do in life, I love you unconditionally, because of the person you are, not the one you try to be.”
That true love is patient, kind, sacrificial, uplifts, breaks chains, loves when love is not wanted, is steadfast in its endeavor to change hate to love, sees what others refuse to see, believes when all belief in person or thing is lost, stands when all others have departed, is there no matter the wrong they’ve been dealt, is there unending, does everything in its power to prove itself, without wealth or fame, and is absolute.
For lack of a better example, it can be equated to Christ. The unconditional love he felt for a people, who not only did him wrong, but negated everything he believed, loved and cherished. Yet, in the end he still loved them strong. 
This is what true love is, and very few experience it, or accept it because it can be overwhelming, and they deem it something they don't want to put forth the effort in.
True love is unending work to maintain the love, relationship, and spark alive; in today’s society of hook-here…hook-up there, very few people seek it, because it takes commitment, sacrifice, loyalty, and a desire to love beyond compare; so we continue to be this throw away love society which subsists on a malnourishment of the supposed bullshit hypocrisy of insidious worship with “getting mine”, “big booty hoes”, money, sex and fame, all of which we equate as true.

And lastly......

For those of you who do love unconditionally,love hard, stay true to love no matter what, the nae sayers may call you stupid, dumb, or crazy…
But I call you Christ like.
If anything in this blog resonates with you…my readers…I would ask…

Who have you truly Loved Unconditionally lately?

Sometimes…the greatest gift you can give someone to make them change…is love…
I personally…am holding onto that belief…

Webster’s’ defines it as such: noun
Affection with no limits or conditions; complete love
A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
 Feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
Person toward whom love is felt; beloved person
Used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like

A love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.


Anonymous said...

man oh man was that powerful Alexandria! It's almost as if I see a different person now, that what we've seen in the last months. I guess if he was this person to begin with, then I can understand why you loved him so much.

I swear I cried while reading this, but then I guess that's why you are the writer and I am not. It's just sad, that it took so much pain for the two of you to see that.

Well I wish you both happiness and the utmost love!

I truly appreciated this post, more than you will ever know, because everyone in life had been right there in it.


Anonymous said...


Love...I swear Love!
This was the best fricken post you have posted so far alexandria! I was able to hear both the pain and love you have for this guy, which all of us knew, but it was sorta awe inspiring to see him thru your eyes! If that is the person he was, then I'm just as sad as you are that he changed, because he seemed like an awesome person.

I would love a man like that, I guess it's why so many of us women read romance.

That sucks that people couldn't leave you guys alone...


Anonymous said...


Wow, i can see now why you loved him so much! Im jealous myself, because he sounded amazing, why the hell did he change? I wish i was at home right now to fully post what i want. But i will mos def repost when i gwt home.
I am just rocked by this post, it actually made me cry too. I mourn for this love i swear lol!


Anonymous said...

Saw your post on FB...

All I can Dayum!
And that is so true that Drake song! But it's cray cray, this post got me to thinking too, and I see I did that stuff too, because I loved my ex so, that I didn't wanna see it either.
You made me cry too gurl, and I feel your pain.

He did sound cool and fine af tho, its sad that he let hood ass people change him, I know thats what you meant but didn't wanna say lol. Gurl I can't even imagine the sex with him, I bet he put it down huh? lmao! Y'all seemed hot in that book together, so I
see now why you twisted...


Anonymous said...

LaTavia here...
Saw your post in IR contemporary...

Im floored alexandria, by the bare emotions you displayed in this post! If ever i as to think of the term bare for everyone to see, it would be this post, and i absolutely comend you for baring your soul. Maybe if we sometimes did that first to the ones we love, the drama would not ensue gfterwards
This is an amazing post, i couldnt help crying too, but i think moat importantly i do see him in a diferente light now.
Thanks for this post


Anonymous said...

Meghan via Twitter here...

This is absolutely beautiful! Especially the way you bare your soul for this guy, because everyone, both male and female has been there at least once in their lives!

I couldnt help the tears either as i read, bevause this sounded like "that," love, and other people say that, and just wanted to fuck that up, because thwy were jealous.

And yes you did change my opinion of him, he sounded amazing, its just sad that he lwt others choose he was to be, and not himself.

This is one of the post that will stay with me.

Anonymous said...

Nancy via twitter.

I literally cried as i read this. I havent been up on the post lately, but this post just speaks to my heart. But the sadeat part, he sounded perfect, the man all women dream about, but he lwt others change him. I can feel the love you have for hin, and its just sad it didnt work out...

Anonymous said...

Ben via twitter

I see this like one of those romances that everybody wants. Like that scene in the movie where the couple meets thru friends, fall for each other, find something right, then their friends set out to consciously or unconsciously sabotage it lol.

This sucks bro, dude is hurt too, and he seemed cool af. I do see him differently now, and not just some looser user.

Anonymous said...

I love this post, you make him sound so amazing. Im just sad that you guys let other people tear you apart, and if what you wrote is true, it sucks, bevause it will probably be years before you two are happy again. You might be with someone, and you say he is too, but this kind of love doesnt go away, no matter what you try. This is the stuff of books and legends, the love that people wish for. Neither one of you will every be teuly happy, you'll just be setteling.

So sad too

Anonymous said...

Lady Dianna via twitter

this is so awe inspiring Alexandria, to just bare your soul like this. I see why you sell well as an author, and this has inspired me, to buy some of your books. What you describe here, is like the love of ancient love affairs like the above person, and the first thing that comes to mind is Othello...

This makes me so sad, and a little bit mad, because with all the bull shit going on in the world, it seems like your friends would have wanted this to last, despite the race and age differences.

I also feel like anom above, it will be hard for the both of you, not just you to get over this. He may say that he loves his new girlfriend, and I'm sure he does, but I can attest that it is night and day compared to this. He is settling, because it is safer, and easiest for him.

He is a very decent person, if this is true. However, I kinda feel for the new young woman, because no matter what he says, he will never love her like this, and no offense, you this new guy Max,

Here is your other half, only you and the people around you wrecked it.

Anonymous said...

I am completely loving the post Al, i guess i finally see what you were trying to say yesterday, and this poat made me cry too, and i feel even morw ashamed today, than i did yesterday! I just wish i would have staywd to gwt ro know him, and not judged him on what Davis said. He sounds like a pretty decent guy before the fall


Anonymous said...

This post is so on it right now! I wish i had a girl to live me like this, damn. Im jealous of bra. I understand that he gotta girl, but damn if i knew my ex felt like this, i wouldnt be calling her my ex.

But good lookin out, im not seeing brua as just a looser no mo

Anonymous said...

Mindy via Fb

this makes me so sad, that I cried as i read it too! Almost makes you think of star crossed lovers. and honestly, it's sad that you both chose to let it burn out, and settled for other people. Love like this comes once in a life time, the kind that makes people like Beyonce, Drake, and the Weekend write songs about it!

This is that crazy, smothering kind of love, and unfortunately you two let it suffocate you, instead of letting it breath. heart is just so heavy after I reading this post.

But it was good to see that this guy Kalini was a good dude, he just let life and circumstances turn him hopefully into a temporary douche lol.

Anonymous said...

I think this is so awesome!

To finally see this guy as you saw him. Most of the readers couldn't understand what you saw in a person like the blogs and the end of the first book describes, but this sheds light on it, make us the women love him as well, and I'm just sad that he allowed buttplugs to change who he was inside.

This love was hot, but maybe it was supposed to die out and end, and the both of you be normal and settle into your own stations of life.

Melvin T

Anonymous said...

I think melvin and an old drunk! Fuck no, to his explination. I bed it was comments just like his that caused all this shit with the couple in the first place!

If she logs on this blog, and says the sex alone was under 30mins, then i might believe melvin's old asd. This kind of love not only consumes the mind, but the sould and damn sho the body as well! Answer that mr kt, or ms infante, and i wont ask again. And i dont see it as him breaking her off, you k.ow she a freak too, ive read evwry genrw of her books! Y'all know y'all wanna know too

Anonymous said...

I'm not old, I just think this love is over, and she should just accept that and move on. The post is lovely, but realistically, they are just too far apart in age, social stature, and everything else.

Anonymous said...

Min here via Twitter,

Crazy, i lobe this entire post! Maybe if id have done something like this, my ex and i would still ne together. I feel the same, he's with his mew chick, not bevause he doesnt love me as much as he dis, but because she's safter for him emotionally. So i completely understand Lex.

As for melvin, you arw a tool! Why would you even leave a comment, especially like that!

Melvin T James said...

whatever, i'm not a tool, I'm just telling the truth of the matter

Anonymous said...

Ok, here's a dudes perspective. This does sound like fire, but crazy at the same time. I was in love with someone like this, but we were killing each other emotionally and physically, so i had to leave. Do i love her, fuck yeah, if she called me would i go back, i probably would. But that doesnt mean ita healthy.


Anonymous said...

Marvetta on roll call...

via twitter

okay I hear what you saying Jeff, but it seems like they didn't have a problem wit they love, it was other people, and they started to believe what ignant ass people said. Like from the book that he said she said bullshit, and that what fucked up they love, not so much them.

I feel you Jeff, i had one of them too, and I let him go against my better judgement. If he called me today, I would take him back myself.

Anyway Melvin needs to go sit his he/she ass down somwhere, and get off this post with nuthing good to say.

This was a beautiful post!

As for the couple, this was one of them good loves, people didn't like it, so they wanted them just as miserable as they was.

And if he got a girl, and she got a man, they aient gone never be happy, because if what she wrote is true, he love her and she love him, aient no use in denying it lol.

and the only reason he said all them nasty things about her, is because he hurting inside like she is, and they can't see that. Don't nobody say bad things like he said, if they weren't meant to hurt somebody like you hurting because you love them.

He said she was fat, ( which y'all know he lying, because if she was he would not had dated her in the first place) she would never get another man, because deep inside, he don't want her too,he wants her still stuck on him, and you know why, because he still love her too.

and that just my two cents


Anonymous said...

Brian via fb

Woah, awesome post, im a dude and even i was feeling this. Man this woman fucken loves you, im not sure i could settle with something complacent, well not saying your new girl is, i would just seriously have ro do a mental check on the two in comparision.

Anyway, it was nice to finally see this dude catch a break after the crap, because if what she wrote is true, he seems like a decent guy who just made some stupid mistakes

Anonymous said...

Nelly here via FB too

Brian, you are right, it was nice to see this guy catch a break, and in a positive light. I wondered, that he couldn't be all bad, if she fell in love with him; but now I completely understand.

I don't know if you guys know who Joss Stone is, but she has a song called the Choking kind, and as I read what this author wrote about this guy, that was all i could think of;

it goes; I only meant to love you
Didn't you know it babe
Didn't you know it
Why couldn't you be content
With the love I gave oh yeah
I gave you my heart
But you wanted my mind, oh yeah
Your love scares me to death, boy
Oh it's the chokin kind
That's all it is

isn't that just crazy. I feel like these two people belong together, but people and society won't let them be. But it was nice to know that he wasn't an asshole, just a guy who made some dumb choices and listened to his stupid ass friends, thus the life of a 24 year old.

Anonymous said...

This was such an amazing post, i will never look at this guy the same way agin. Its kind of xool od the author to bare herself like this, to show that she fycked up as well, because its her site, she could have lwt us continue to believe this guy was the worst acum of the eaeth.

Its.nice to know he actually did lover and, and deeplg, they just let othwrs fyck that up for them.

Anonymous said...

Evan via FB

Yeah, i was glad to see this dude get some justice too. I think they both still love each other too.

Anonymous said...

Lol, Marcus here via Twitter,

naw girl, Joss Stone, da fuk! lol. if we gone post some song shit to this relationship, you need to break out my boy.

Dude you know he having trouble with his new girl, if for no other reason than the sex. That character was older, but she put it the fuck down from what them books said.

the author said Dude has a new girl, but like I said he a dude, so believe me he thinking constantly and comparing, especially if one was better than the other, one sucked...well ya'll get it.

But this some Weekend shit nigga! lmao!

This what bruah be thinking;
"The Zone"
(feat. Drake)

Why you rushing me baby
It’s only us alone
I don't wanna die tonight baby
So let me sip this slow
I’ll give you what you called for
Just let me get in my zone
I’ll be making love to her through you
So let me keep my eyes closed
And I won't see a damn thing
I can’t feel a damn thing
But I'ma touch you right
I wont see a damn thing
I can’t feel a damn thing
But I’ma touch you right, oh yeah

Anonymous said...


Lmao! Omg! You are so stupid marcus! No if we're using songs for this couple, im seeing emenim and rehannah lol.

Anonymous said...

Naw bruah, that's some Lonely Star shit rite there! Lmao!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, you guys are so lame!

Anyway, I don't have a song, but I really did like the post. It was the first time since I learned about this series, that I even considered him a loving individual, and not a douche bag scum of the earth. It was also nice to see that they truly did love each other, but they allowed other people to make their love corrupt..

Oh wait, i guess I do have a song lol, Sade's No Ordinary Love, lol

this kinda seems like what the author was saying;

I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love

Anonymous said...

Aweeee why she gotta take it back like that! I mean i like sade, but we wus on my nigga weekend, and this relationship hurr. Nigga from dis book im seeing some Or Nah! Lmao!

Anonymous said...

Kristen via Fb

okay you guys like totally suck, Marcus and anny friend, and perverted this blog lol.

Anyway, I really love this post. It let us see a side of both of them, and what they went thru. I guess he isn't a tool after all, because she obviously saw something good in him frum what she wrote.

Anonymous said...


Im so glad people are finally accepting that a 40something year old woman and a 25 yr old man xan experience love on a higher level that what is out there today. He sounds definately someone to love and wS a good guy, until he let society tell him what he should be. This makes me want to cry too, because they obvuously had something good and special.


Anonymous said...

Oh my God...just... I don't even know the word to use lol.

Ava here via Twitter.

I'm just blasted by this post. Now this is soul searching, I wanted to cry myself reading this, especially when she said;

**the fact that I had never loved anyone as I did him, that I wanted to marry him, that I needed him in ways that I had never needed another man, that he was the very breath and life to me; I wanna dream what you dream, Go where you're going, I only have one life. I only wanna live it with you, I wanna sleep where you sleep, Connect with your soul. The only thing I want in life, I only wanna live it with you;**

this seriously brought tears to my eyes, because it reminded me of my ex. I'm just so sad for these people. Even they both seemed to have moved on, it's obvious they belong together.

But I will say it was good to see the Kalani guy as a real person. She loved him enought to allow us to see what she saw, and I think that is cool af.

Anonymous said...

I agree that this is the best post yet.

Kelest via twitter

Im so touched by what the author wrote, because not a lot of us couldjust put ourseld out thers like that. I feel bad for them both. He loves her she loves him. But i guesz it is good the author is finally moving on thougj. But i stil believe they belong together. I wish someone would say thosw things to me lol!

Anonymous said...

Omg! This is so hearr felt. I could feel everything you said. This was a lucky guy to be loved like that.

Im glad we get to see the wonderful person you saw instead of the drama. Im just sad that it didnt work out. Good luck to you both with your new relationships, but it does seem like to me you two belong together.


Anonymous said...

This is so beautiful. Tbis guy waz blessed, i hope he knows that. Not many people in this life get to say they were loved like this.

I saw him thru her eyes, and i see why she loved him. He was obviously a special person, until he allowed others to change him. Pretty decent guy, lets just hope he grows from this. Im just sorry this didnt work out for them. My heart feels very heavy from this, but it will surly cause me to thi.k about my love ofy life.
Very few people get to experience love like this, and o think more of us should bare our souls like this.

Just truly heart felt. Ill never look at this guy the same way again.


Anonymous said...

Tammy via twitter....

I feel like we stepped into the pages of this amazing romance, that had it high of high, its low of lows, and the people in it just let it fizzle out! This is just wow...

I never in a million years ever thought my opinion of this guy could change! I've been following alexandria since the book came out, and I saw him as the worst looser on the planet of the earth. I could always feel her pain, but now I know why!

I'm just flabbergasted, that this is who he was! He sounds absolutely dreamy! Why would he allow people to change him! That just makes me so angry! Not a lot of people get love like this, this is the one that no matter what you do in life, still pulls at your soul decades later. If he loved her anything like she loved him... man...they will always be settling elsewhere in their lives. And that thought makes me sad inside.

OK, I'm going to go cry now....

Anonymous said...

You are so right Tammy, if this is true they both will just be setteling. Sigh here, because my heart hurts for them.

True love turned to hate just breaks my heart, but that love is just masked as hate, because it goes so deeply. My heart is heavy too.

I wish you two to.s of good luck. I hope they truly are happy with their new people, but judge from this post i doubt it, they're both just seetling like you said Tammy...


Anonymous said...

I've been following this series too Dannie, and although I loved the book, I was wondering too how she could love an asshole like this!

Well boy, is all I can say! I see why now. If this is the person he was, it just breaks my heart that he let people change him. Who gives a hello kitty about being seen as tough! I never understand why this bothers men so much.

This was beautiful, special, sacred almost, and hate-filled people wanted to wreck what they could not have. Isn't it just sad how jealous people can ruin some of the best that life has to offer?

My heart is heavy to ladies, because he sounds like he was a terrific young man, until he let his jaded male friends put their issues on him.

This just breaks my heart, especially because they found this love, and the age difference.

My heart is crying you you Alexandria, but it was nice to see him in his true light.

Thank you for that

Rose via Twitter

Anonymous said...

Anita via Fb

Truly beautiful post. I see this guy completely different now too! Now i just wonder if he loved her, like she loved him? We only see the negative post from people on this relatio.ship, and i dont think ive ever seen him actually post a response either. But it would be awesome if he did post one on this. Can you how the readwrs would feel if he confirmed this love.

Fire i swear! I know at least to me it wouldbe


Anonymous said...

I feel you on that Nanette!

Mavena via twitter...

I've been following this too. I never imagined this is who this guy was! Just crazy, because she talks about him in the book, and you can feel that she loves him more than that other guy, but it still felt like high school so to speak.

Like hey got together in the book, but it just didn't work and they went their ways. She did craped up things, and so did he, and the book just ended. I've been waiting for book two on pins and needles lol.

But I am just astonished that it was like this! This woman bore her soul in this fricken post, and I just hope this guy appreciates it.

She let us see that it wasn't just this guys fault, as I'll admit, I thought he was the worse kind of asshole, so I hated him on spot.

But this post is just so raw, exposed, and shows us that this guy was human, but he let other people sway what he knew he had with her. He let other people tell him that because she was older than him, it was wrong, gross and dumb ( at least that's the way I saw it in the book), when he actually had love like few of us get.

I'm with you Nanette, I would love to know if he loved her like it is clear to see she loved him.

This is a post I will be thinking about for a while...

But it was good to see that he wasn't the asshole I believed from the book.

Jersey livin y'all

Anonymous said...

I love that we get to see what she saw in him. Its just so amazing to know that someone thought this of you. I just hope he appreciates it.

Good luck to you both

Beth via FB

Anonymous said...

Helen via FB too

I've seen the post for this book series, and just bought book one, so I'm not up to speed yet on the drama lol. But from the previous posts on this book, I can see that it was a very challenging relationship, especially with the age differences.

that being said, this post is wondrous, exposing, visceral, and i felt it to the core of me, because everyone in life has loved someone this deeply, at least once.

I'm sad for them, but I guess they figured they couldn't make it in the circle of the haters, which is the truly sad part. You only get love like this once, maybe twice if you're lucky.

Maybe they'll find it with their new people, but I seriously doubt it. I feel like the rest of the posters on this thread; they're just settling.

Anonymous said...

Tayveon strollin twitter...

Dis real shit right huur!

Unfortunately aien't no dude ever gonna admit this. The post is the ish, but he aient gone comment. He see her differently now, especially because of the drama.

He may love her, but will he leave his new gurl, naw, prolly not. But then it depends on how long he been wit her too. But if he aien't even considering it, then he stupid and he didn't love her like she thought. Aien't no way, my ex could post something like this and I not think hard on it. lol
I might even start sch...neva mind lmao!

But I would definitely, be thinking about it, especially wit all these hoes out here propagatin.

But he gone settle for a life thas gone let him get in and out.

This woman that love that you look for years from now, and right now my boy aien't ready, or maybe mature enough to handle it.

But she fine af for a older women.
I do bet he missing that hahah. And she aient fat, he trippin, just tryin to throw shade becuz of the drama lol.

But I'm glad my boy finally got his, and you ladies on here stopped hatin

Anonymous said...

Nina here via Fb...

I hear you Tayveon, but i dont feel like she poSted all of this raw emotuon to gwt him back, even though it is clear she still loves him deeply. I think she did it, to show us what she saw, so people would respect this dude, and see that he wasnt the comple asshole we thought, juat a normal guy how made some wrong choicea.

I feel so bad for them. I bet this love was fire!

Anonymous said...

Ryan via Twitter...

Hey guys what up...

I understand Tayevon, and I hear ya on that man. If he hasn't even considered it once after this post, then no matter what, dude is dead inside lol.

There is no way, and I'm a dude too, that my ex could have posted this and I not feel something even if I hated her.

And we normally only hate someone at this level, if we loved them at the same level. Yes I'm a guy, but I have a heart too, and I don't think it could ignore something like this, no matter who I was with, or how hard I was trying to be.

This is fucken love...

Anonymous said...

Trevor here via Twitter...

I feel you on that Ryan. I had this kind of relationship too, we were the same age, but I'm white and she's black. The negativity that people thre at us on a constant basis, made us feel like we shouldn't be together, so we broke up.

I tried dating new people, and so did she; but I always compared them to her, and she said she did the same.

I would purposefully fuck my new relationships, because I knew deep inside I wanted her.

I did a bunch of dumb shit, even got in someone's face because of it, and I said I hated her, and she said the same.

We're back together now lol, because she just does it for me, so I agree with you.

If this guy hasn't even considered the possibility, because you don't get over love like this that fucken quick, then he is dead inside, and unfortunately for the author, he never loved her like she thought.

I was fucked up for months over my girl, and it didn't matter how much I said I hated her, and she me. You only ever hate someone that much, when you love them that much. If she would have posted something like this, the phone wouldn't have been fast enough for me.

And maybe he hasn't posted anything because he didn't love her like that, and he's ashamed. jmo

Great post though

Anonymous said...

Coretta via FB..

This is a truly lovely post. Its nice to see what she saw good in him.

Anonymous said...

Its nice that we get to see that he was a good guy after all, he just did some dumb stuff.

Great post


Anonymous said...

Awesome post Alexandria.

You made me see what you see, and i can respwxt that and him. Best of luck to you both.

But i will say this, never settle in love

Lilly fb...

Anonymous said...

This post was so beautiful.

You allowed us to see inside of you Alexandria, but him as well. It is so heartening, when this kind of love ends. it makes you wonder will you ever find it again, which is why people sometimes do silly things to hold on.

I can see him as you did, and I'm glad at the same time that you both got to experience something this profound.

I believe the fates put you together, so someday you may find each other again :)

It's clear that the love still affects you, so I'll say stay strong, love yourself, more than you did him, and you'll be just fine.

Of course it will take some time to get over a love like this if ever, but time heals all, and you'll be able to look back someday and see only this, and not the pain.

Good luck to the both of you, and I truly hope he appreciates this, and the love you have for him. it isn't everyday someone loves you like this.

Edna via Twitter

Anonymous said...

Eva via FB

This is all good and stuff, but maybe he hasnt respo.ded because he done. Did anyone ever think of that? Maybe she was the one this in love and not him? Maybe hes tired of her and this love. Maybe theyve done it over so many times that he does actually hate her!

People need to just move on sometimes and lwt other people be happy where they are. How do you people know he isnt happy with his now gf, and this woman is teying to fuck things up for him ny posting this just to get h back.

She needs to just lwt it go ñove on andgo somewhere and leave them alone!

Anonymous said...

Wow Eva...

bitter much!
This was an awesome post, and only someone hate filled and bitter could have taken it this much out of context.

First off if you would have read the entire post, she was talking about unconditional love. The fact that she told him that she loved him uncontitionally, but realized that even with as much as she said she loved him, it was reserved, because she was having a hard time being happy for him.

I don't see anywhere, where she is trying to break him and his new gf up, you're crazy!

Second, we don't need post like yours, and it obviously shows your age. This post was about the author, what she felt for this guy, and her wanting to change the image we, her fans had of him!

Next, you post is uncalled for, and you have a lot of gall posting this about the person, sorta in their face here.

She said she loved him, but was dating someone new as well. It was her readers, and obviously with that much hate you aren't one, who said this was an awesome love that they hated to see end!

Its people like you, who fuck up stuff.

You are the one who needs to, "Go somewhere," with your hate and bitterness.

You took something that we all felt was beautiful, visceral, emotionally raw, which we don't see enough and twisted it.

Mona V twitter

Anonymous said...

Renita here via twitter.

I just saw the alert post for this comment by eva. Eva must be short for evil! Lol wow, boy did she miss the point!

From what i read of the post, yes the author still loves this guy, but she isnt teying to get him nack, it seems like she's trying to untarnish his image for us.

Some people just dont get it.

Anonymous said...

Nanette here again...

I just caught, this alert too. I was out of the office. I'm amazed at how she twisted this lovely post to that! Myself. I didn't see it as the author trying to reclame him, even though you can clearly tell that she still loves him deeply!

I say it as an attempt to move on, accept that they aren't together anymore, but her wanting him to know who much he was valued in her life!

Eva must be pretty young if she didn't get that. This isn't someone trying to "fuck up his new relationship," as she put it, but someone realizing that they have a void because they lost something precious.

My advice to you Eva, fucken grow up.

Anonymous said...

I agree 100% Nanette, this was looking back on something beautiful and cherishing it for what it was. I dont seeanywhere in this post were she asking to get back with him.

Eva's man must have gone back with his ex, because she sounds bitter, but dont be raini.g on Our parade. This was a beautiful post, and if nothing else he should appreciate that he was loved by someone likw this.

Smh, she the one who needago somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Steph here twitter

Okay but maybe Eva does have a point. Maybe it was too much for him, so he found somebody better! Why is every one going off on her. I didn't follow this, but everyone has a right to their opinion. This relationship sounds like too much fucken drama, so this guy got rid of it and her, which is what I would have done too.

And that's my opinion

Anonymous said...

Samantha here bia twitter

Just got the alert too..

Seph you're a douche, eva you're a bitch and bitter.

This post from what i see didnt have shit to do with this guy, ecept that she wanted us to see whT she saw in him, why she loved him after all the drama, and that she probably always would!

You both are clueless, and twisted it to something else entirely.

No point in getting mad at them guys, they're just stupid


Anonymous said...

lmao! Vivian here via twitter

Eva sounds bitter, like her man did just that lol. Seph just sounds ignorant, maybe they should get together lmao!

Anyway, this was an awesome post. it wasn't getting back with him, trying to run off his new girl, because if he really loves her, then the author couldn't do that anyway.

This post was about baring the soul, letting people know that they are valued like someone else posted, and seeing that love can change you as a person.

It didn't have anything to do with his new girlfriend whatsoever. If they are happy, then great, but you can't talk shit about us, because we feel for the author, wish this amazing love would have worked for them, and maybe some of us even secretely hopping that they get back together.

This was trying to get anyone back, it was exposing the hidden things that we should say to people, but don't, and by the time we realize what they mean to us, most of the time it's too late.

She wanted her fans to see what she saw when they got together, an amazing, caring, loving human being, that loved her as well, and I feel like she succeeded, because that is how I'll look at this guy from now on.

And I agree with Nanette, you both should go somewhere yourselves.

Anonymous said...

That's what I saw it as too, letting someone know they were and are valued! Not about his new gf, trying to win him back either! Does she love him, of course, you can hear it in the post, but like someone else said, there is no evidence in this post where she's trying to get him back, she just saying she loves him.

That why society is so fucked up now days, every time someone tries to do something good, people twist it and try to fuxk it up.

I commend you alexandria, I'm not sure I could have opened myself up like that for the public viewing and vice ration .

Good luck tho

Anonymous said...

Eva is bitter every one lol.

Nice post alexandria, at least i get it. Hope he does to.


Anonymous said...

Beverly here via FB

Yes, I think Eva is projecting, but we really can't be mad at her. It's her experience, did it need to be posted here, no.

I didn't either see the post as someone desperately trying to get back with their ex boyfriend. I hope he doesn't see it like that either.

If Eva followed the blog like I do, then she would know the back history here.

She would know that this couple has been thru hell and back, and we had seen him all this time as this fucked up asshole, who just used her for money, sex, and whatever else he could.

What this post does for us, her "FANS," Eva, is prove to us, that he is human, he did love her, probably still does, but most importantly to us, he was a decent human being, not what we thought.

This is exactly what the author wanted, and we see that.

Does she love him, hell yes, anyone reading this post can tell, does she want him back, I'm sure she does. But that wasn't what this post was about!

I commend her, for being brave enough to tell someone feeling this deep and true, knowing all the while that they could pretty much spit in your face.

Bravo Ms. Infante, long live "LOVE," you make us feel it. I understand why you write romance.

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna remain hidden, because I have something to say that she might kill me for lol. We all know by now that these are real people, and I'm sure you know that Alexandria is the character of the book too.

The book alone exposes her, but I'm gonna say what I need to say anyway. I have witnessed this train wreck for months now, but the post by the young woman Eva pissed me off, so I decided to say what I have to say.

Yes she loves him, deeply, and would do anything for him; but that isn't what this is about. She told me she was going to do this, and I was floored, then asked wtf for!

She said it needed to be done, because he had this image of her that she couldn't live with, and he never knew how she truly felt, because she kept it from him thinking it would make her look weak, old and unattractive if she were to tell him the truth.

But Alexandria will know anyway, because we've been friends for over 25 years, so she knows my voice even in writing lol.

I think the point that most of you are missing, and maybe even Kalani, is the fact that she was an older "women".

This isn't a relationship about two 24 years olds. This is a 20 year difference, which brings in age, society, social status, education, life experiences, and the fact that people saw him as having an Oedipal complex, her as a cougar, molester, and just something so wrong.

These are the things she had to deal with on a regular basis, and one of the things he never accepted. The fact that people were jealous of this from the get go, shows how society views a younger man and an older woman, because they sought to break them apart, even before they truly got together.

And people are missing as well, the fact that they were friends. It took them at the very least 6 months to even sleep together.

Although Kalani saw nothing wrong with loving an older woman, other people did. Do I commend him of that fact, yes I do. That was very brave to show that her age didn't matter to him. What I can't get over, is the fact that he allowed a jealous bitter person to taint what he felt for Alie, and turn it into "getting his," because he was hurt, and felt like pay back.

What most people don't know, is that even though he was younger than her, Alie truly loved this guy, and would talk about him constantly. Anything she did, was because of that person, and you Kalani know exactly who I mean.

I hadn't seen her that happy in years. Unfortunately she too let other hate filled jealous people change her image of him as well.

Instead of telling him how she truly felt for two years, because that is how long they were together people, it wasn't some over night fling, and they practically lived together at one point, she chose to keep all that inside, so what she wrote on this post, are feelings and emotions that he NEVER knew.

Anonymous said...

Post above cont...

They both did a LOT of STUPID shit, not just him, and not just her. They both fucked up this amazing love, so they are "BOTH" to blame, not just one.

Alie tends to cut people off emotionally, and if you knew her life, you would understand why, but never get it twisted that she just used him for sex, needed a new boy toy, or just wanted to see if she could take him from a younger woman.

For older women like us, the one fear that we do deal with when dating a younger man, is that we might lose him to a younger women. That can be terrifying for anyone when you invest the amount of love she did, and with love age shouldn't matter, but realistically it does.

I don't know if he's reading any of this, because I don't follow the blog, I just wanted to show him that all her real friends like Hedrick, Kel, Melanie, me, Janice, Taylor and a bunch others ARE NOT like Davis and Sarah!

I've been telling her for years to get ride of his ass, and Davis is a f'n lie. Does he sound anything like the person in the book to you? Not, I'm Marge!

And just so you know, the proposal was sincere, the money sincere, however let's be honest, when the dirt bag sent her those messages, and when you did what you did, said what you said, she thought she was just an older woman seeing something that wasn't there.

Why am I posting this to you Kalani, because if you don't remember anything else about Alexandria, trust and believe, you had a good woman, who would have walked heaven and Earth for you. Unfortunately you two were never able to come to your true fruition.

And she isn't crazy, a dumb bitch, stupid, or anything like that, and I take offense for my friend at those terms some people have labeled her as. What she is, is in love with someone she thought the world of, and I personally don't see anything wrong with loving him, and continuing to.

Just because he's in a new relationship, doesn't mean he cant still be loved by someone else. We should all feel privileged if someone does this for us.

And that's just my two cents...


Anonymous said...

Hi everyone, I'm Bernita, and I saw the post on FB.

I really like this blog, it is interesting and intriging. I especially like this post on the book and the characters.

I haven't been following it, I'm new, but I did read the book.

I think it's great how her long time friend shed some light on her friends feeling, I like how the author just let it all out no matter the consequences, because people need to know that they are valued, and we can see that he was.

Like the other lady said, I don't know if he reading these post, but he should feel proud to know that someone in life loved him this much.

I think she brave to tell everybody in the world how much she love this man.

thank y'all for letting me be a part of this.

Anonymous said...

Moneshia here...

And all i can say, is this post is so raw, and i agree with everyone else. This woman loves this man, and to just put it out there for everyone to see is courageous, i give her props. I think he's gone miss her when she gone if she really is moving to nyc.

Just wonderful, im just amaze that he can just let her go, but i guess he doing whats good for him tho

Anonymous said...

Really like the post alex, very interesting. He's a lucky guy and doesnt even realize it.

Hope you find closure. If i were him, id take you back in a heartbeat lol ;)

Ken cia twitter

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone,

I'm Kim
Saw the alert on twitter, and the small feed I say looked completely interesting. I am in love with this post. I dodn't think I would ever have the courage to something like this myself, lol, and it completely reminds me of and 80s flick, and I can just see you there with the huge boom box declaring your lone!

Lol, more like "Some Kind of Wonderful," if you can remember that lol.

But it is definitely refreshing, and I'm glad we were able to see this guy though your eyes.

Anonymous said...

Barry via twitter

All this time i assumed this guy was a dick, it pretty cool what the author did

Anonymous said...

Melanie via Twitter

This post made me cry, I remember my break up last year like it was yesterday. This kind of post makes you root for the poster, and wish that they could get back together.

I was also happy to see that the guy Kalani wasn't a tool after all, he just made some back moves

Oh well, it was wondrous, and I truly feel inspired by it.

Thanks much alexandria

Anonymous said...

I love your blog!

I feel the love in the post. Just stay strong, it takes time, but you'll get over him eventually.

I wish you the best of luck in NYC, you'll love it here. Some awesome guy is going to swoop you up the minute you get here, and this will be a fond memory that you look back on ;)

Evelyn via twitter

Anonymous said...

Reallt nice post, stay strong.